And the baby-daddy is....

Gossip Girl said at the start of this episode that "... you must walk into the belly of the beast."

I had that ominous feeling at the start of this episode too. I think it was the knowledge that Charlie/Ivy is back in town, and also that Blair still doesn't know who baby-daddy is (okay, I know now, having watched the episode, but I didn't when I typed up these notes. Bear with me :P)

[Photo: 'I'm going to lean against this doorway looking sexy. I know you're checking out my behind.']

Alright, let's run through this baby! (Well... that wasn't intentional. Silly pun)

The first shot is of Blair hiding out in her room, curled under the covers and reading Grace Kelly's biography. Poor B. She has moved from the denial stage, to the hibernating stage. I reckon I'd be hiding from those test results too. If Chuck was the baby-daddy...

Don't even want to contemplate it. Anyway!

I love that Dorota went to Dan for help. Yay Dair! Sort of. Data? Dan and Dorota? Well, it's sweet that Dan offered to stay in Blair's life and he's helping her attack this huge problem. I am all for Dan and Blair getting closer, even if it's over a Chair or Lair baby.

Only in Gossip Girl.

So! Cue to Serena and Charlie/Ivy. Charlvy I'm going to call her today.

Serena - you're being a bit dumb. It is so very obvious that Charlvy doesn't want to be in Manhattan. Listen to her. Yes, it was a mistake. Tell her to shoo now.

Sigh. Wish these characters would listen to me.

Now we move to Chuck's apartment, and we see that he has a dog.

Was anyone else weirded out by the fact Chuck has a dog? Especially such a cute dog. If I imagined Chuck with a dog, it would be a huge Bull Mastiff or something. Not a fluffy-eared cutesy-face pooch. Anywho.

I love Nate and how he loves everything. "Woah. who's this little guy?" Naw, Nate. Just imagine him, shirtless, cuddling a puppy. Doesn't it make you drool?

Ahem. I also like the Dan and Nate bromance; they are such good pals. "Laters bro." "Yeh, good luck man." "Totes."

I have to admit, Chuck is right when he says to Nate: "The only reason this woman has hired you is to please her in the bedroom, not the boardroom." Sorry Nate, the delectable Elizabeth Hurley really does want you for your charming looks. You are so very adorable, but so very dumb sometimes.

Aww Serena and Blair modelling together again? That'd either end gorgeously or disastrously (as we all remember the last time). Too bad it didn't actually happen and Charlvy stole Serena's place. Sigh.

I gotta say, Dorota gets cuter each time I see her. "I have to say, best part of pregnancy is knowing who baby daddy is." Totally adore Blair's reaction to all of her subtle jabs.

Let's move to Dan and his book. Leave the book alone? Pffft how foolish is Dan. Vanish? In the Upper East Side, with Gossip Girl eyes everywhere? I don't think so!

Mini excited moment: LILY'S BACK! YAY! I love Kelly Rutherford. Such a gem. And she's been playing Angry Birds, naw. Sweet. Let us know if you find a cure for that addiction please.

Blair! Just open the damn letter! WEWANTTOKNOWWHOBABYDADDYIS.

Phew. I'm good. This episode is really getting me stirred up!

And cougar-Diana firing all the oldies? Did anyone else think that was sad more than anything? I can't believe Nate was impressed. I'm not impressed with you being so daft Nate. Leave. The. Cougars. Alone. They're hot for sex, sure, but not to work for.

Yay for some more cute Dair comments! Blair: "That is so civilized. Unlike your hair Humphrey. You look like a muppet." YES. YES YOU DO DAN. What is with his hair this season? Somebody fix it please. Thank you.

Moving to Lily and Serena talking about deceiving Carol; making sure she doesn't know about Charlvy. It will be a nightmare. Please. Get rid of her.

Blair and the journalist. Don't fret, sweetpea. I am pretty sure Louis would love you through anything. He's tied himself around your little finger, or should I say, your wedding finger ;)

Good grief, when I thought that old guy had stolen Dan's novel I had a fit! Meanie! I mean, it was very typical GG, so I wasn't too shocked. Nice move though writers, you had me fooled.

SERENA. LET CHARLVY GO. Stop trying to keep her here. Why does nobody listen to me? Charlvy, you're as dumb as Serena though. Taking those tickets.. everybody knows you don't really want to leave. 'Fess up already.

Despite being some sort of scheming cougar, I still love Elizabeth Hurley. You're delectable. I can't really hate anyone who's delectable. Just saying.

So we move back to Blair and that damn letter. Of course she ripped it up. What else was she going to do, actually read it? No, I think not.

I do love Blair's threats to Dorota though, as if she'd ever actually get rid of her. That would literally kill the show. Literally.

Charlvy arrives at the fashion show and falls devastatingly in love with a dress. And who wouldn't? With those ruffles, and diamantes, and pinkness - lovely, just lovely.

Another mini excited moment: LILY'S FREE! YAY! Rufus is the sweetest in this episode. Getting her charges dropped, and then taking her out. I've never liked Rufus all that much, but he is growing on me.

Now we're at the fashion show, and it's a true Gossip Girl style suaray. I love how Blair comes in to steal the show, as per true Blair style. Her dress is to die for. I love it MORE than Charlvy's. But Blair has definitely become sweeter in her old age; giving her advice to do what she wants, not what her mum wants.

Of course, sneaky sneaky cougar is at work, making Nate get his hands dirty. Congressmen strike me as such fools, they always seem to be having affairs I swear.

So I really feel Lily's pain when she walks in. How would we feel, having to face up to friends who truly didn't stand by her? But, Rufus is a doll and helps her through.

Cue the fashion fiesta! And Charlvy's face-off with Carol. Good work Charlvy, even though I still want you to leave.

May I just say, Dan and Blair fights never get old. This one certainly didn't disappoint; Dan on the floor, Blair standing there all cute and embarrassed. I think I would have freaked if B ended up on the floor though - that poor dress. [horrified face]

I'm going to jump ahead a bit because nothing note-worthy happens, until...

We find out baby-daddy.

Uh. Hold on. Louis'? It's LOUIS'?! I didn't see that coming? Well that throws my theories into the ground. But I do still have one theory.. (I will share it at the end!)

Cut to Chuck. Oh, that face. Pure devastation. You poor little pumpkin. I feel like I ought to hand you a plate with a naked woman on it. Anything to distract you from that empty feeling that I think is rushing through your body.

But, perhaps it's pain. I hope he doesn't go all suicidal again. Something tells me he won't though. Because of .....

HIS DOG NAMED MONKEY. Nawwww!! Cutest name ever! I want him! But I don't think I could take him away from a sad Chuck. That'd be a bit mean.

Anyway, the last scene with Chuck and Monkey (I'm sorry, all I could think of then was 'chunky monkey' from TVD... lol) was seriously sad. I feel so bad for Chuck. Alright, you people need to tell me - are you a Chair, Dair or Lair fan? Go. Now. I need to know this.

You need to know - I WAS a Chair fan. Now I am more of a Dair fan. However, I think I am still equally tied sometimes. Like in that moment, when Blair says "A part of me wished it was yours." Oh B. Not healthy to be in love with two men at once, trust me.

Okay, almost done! So my final thoughts to Dan, after he decides to claim the book for his own - good luck. You are going to need it. (Though my curiosity IS raging. Can't wait to see what is actually in it)

And Nate has Charlvy's phone. Well, that's going to end badly I'm guessing. And that was the end of the episode!

Quickly! My last minute thoughts -

Why does no one listen to my plea to get rid of Charlvy? But I do think it will make for an interesting scandal, once it all blows up. (as we know it will. C'mon, it wouldn't be Gossip Girl if it didn't).

I have come up with a new theory as to how the Lair relationship will unravel. Louis will find the test results, confront Blair, Blair will have to tell him about sleeping with Chuck (and this will all happen on the wedding day, my guess) and Chuck might even show up to stop the wedding. Drama drama! And Dan will be waiting in the wings to comfort a heartbroken B, as per usual. Ha! What do you think? Agree? Disagree? Better idea?

All in all, it was a MUCH BETTER GOSSIP GIRL EPISODE. A lot like the old days (maybe they DO read my blogs and saw my plea for better cliffhangers!) I enjoyed it very much.

Alright, if you made it to the end - thank you and kudos! :D Please, leave comments or chat with me on twitter @jayneymoo or @janeymoo I will be happy to hear from you! :D Til next week!